Redakteursbrief: Die dood van ’n kind

Die dood van ’n kind is nie net ‘n verlies nie – dis ’n katastrofe

Ek kan nie eens probeer om iets oor die smart van ouers te skryf as hul kind sterf nie – dit laat mens sprakeloos. Martjie Roos skryf hierdie week spesifiek oor selfdood van kinders. Ek ken mense wat met die dood van hul kinders moet saamleef en ek weet dat elkeen van hulle al in ’n stadium gewens het hulle kan ook doodgaan – so erg is dit vir hulle.

Die dood van jou kind is nie ’n gebeurtenis nie – dis ’n onbeskryflike verdere lewe van oorlewing. Die realiteit is dat van hulle ander kinders het wat nog leef en vir wie hulle wil of moet aanhou leef. Vriende en familie is meestal so verstom geskok dat hulle nie weet wat om vir die bedroefde ouers te sê nie. Niks wat mens sê, maak dit makliker nie. Dit bly aaklig. Daar is mense wat kinders moes begrawe wat dit regkry om hul emosies in woorde om te sit en selfs boeke daaroor te skryf om hulself en ander mense in soortgelyke situasies te probeer help.

Ek het ’n paar mense se skrywes raakgelees – dalk help dit as jy jouself in die nagmerrie bevind of probeer om geliefdes te ondersteun wat voel hul wêreld het gaan stilstaan.

We never truly get over a loss, but we can move forward and evolve from it — Elizabeth Berrien

There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love — Washington Irving

It is the capacity to feel consuming grief and pain and despair that also allows me to embrace love and joy and beauty with my whole heart. I must let it all in — Anna White

There is no tragedy in life like the death of a child. Things never get back to the way they were — Dwight D Eisenhower

If you know someone who has lost a child, and you’re afraid to mention their child because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that they died – you’re not reminding them. They didn’t forget that they died. What you’re reminding them of is that you remembered that they lived, and that is a great gift — Elizabeth Edwards

Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim — Vicki Harrison

To say there had been a loss is ludicrous; one lost a shoe or a set of keys. You don’t suffer the death of a child and say there was a loss. There was a catastrophe. A devastation. A hell — Jody Picoult